Three Things for My Three Years

For the uninitiated, one thing that you can be sure to hear if you are picking up a “year or multiples” chip in a twelve step program is “How did you do it?” In honor of my little sobriety baby’s third birthday, I want to set out for your scrutiny some things I have learned. Some things I have done have worked and some have definitely not. Some of the means by which I attempt to maintain sobriety and serenity on a daily basis contain nuggets of experience and hope that others in recovery may be able to mine out of the madness.

1. Taking things one day at a time is something that everyone probably thinks they do. Most don’t realize how often they do not do this simple mental exercise and how much serenity they are missing as a result. Move on from the past and don’t worry about a future that you can neither guarantee nor change today. Be concerned with the here and now, be present in the present moment and watch as the days become longer and more full, more satisfying to your soul.

2. One of the biggest obstacles I unknowingly faced was the idea that anyone or anything other than my own thoughts was a threat to my sobriety. My only true threat of relapse exists solely between my two ears. No person, place or thing of this world has the ability to control my thoughts or actions. I make my own choices and am solely accountable for them. I am ducking my natural responsibility for my own life when I begin to think that anyone or anything in my environment can truly threaten my sobriety.

3. The most ever-present, vital thing that has kept me sober is maintaining and enhancing my relationship with my Higher Power. Having faith in something, somewhere that can relieve a person of the madness and obsession is the cornerstone of the 12-step program. We addicts in recovery have to hold onto the faith that something out there has the power to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Faith, hope and love, not necessarily the brand of man-made extra-doctrinal religion that has tried to cloud our world today. Simple faith and spirituality and an effort for nearly constant and conscious contact with my Higher Power has been the glue that has held my life together when collapse and destruction seemed imminent.

I hope that helps someone, somewhere. Many, many thanks go to my family (new and old) and my dear friends. My Sigma Chi and Masonic brothers and my brothers and sisters at the SSF Submission Academy have all played a tremendous role in my recovery. My family at Grace Community Church has been vital to my happiness, growth and fulfillment as well. My loving and amazingly supportive wife Erica means more to me than I could have ever realized before I knew her. She lights up my life with her energy, creativity and love. Here’s to another twenty-four hours.