Expectations or Acceptance?

Expectations can be as dangerous to an addict (or any person, for that matter) as a cyanide pill swallowed with a bottle of Drano.

Unfortunately we as humans have a tendency to let people down and to fail to live up to expectations. It’s one of the unfortunate side effects of being human, no matter how much we strive to be otherwise. It is in our nature to be imperfect, and once an addict builds expectations and gets disappointed it can often be followed swiftly by relapse and the well-documented consequences thereof.

One way that a person can insulate themselves against this disappointment and potential resentment is to begin to change their expectations into hopes. If you merely hope that a person will do the right thing or hope that an outcome is favorable, then you aren’t setting yourself up for an eventual, inevitable disappointment.

The fact remains that you will be hurt and disappointed in this life. No one is immune to these negative emotions, but you can choose how you respond when events conspire to drag you down.  That much is the only thing that is in fact within your power to control.

You can choose to accept that “it is what it is,” that you have no power to change the past or others and simply decide to relinquish your illusory control of the situation. Accept that you can only control your own thoughts and emotions and stop being as sensitive and reactive as you have been, and watch as life goes from “in the red” to cruise control.

As an addict, you must come to accept that there are certain things you simply cannot do as other normal people can.  This is such a hard lesson for the prideful, egotistical addict, but one that is absolutely necessary. The sooner you make peace with this as a fact and accept it, the sooner you can move forward less embittered and more empowered. Accept that there are things in this life that you can do absolutely nothing to effect and focus on the things that you can control, i.e. your emotions and your responses.

Expectations can often lead to disappointments. Acceptance inevitably leads to serenity. Which would you rather experience today?