The disease of addiction

The average person is able to do certain things without feeling compelled to do them to excess. They don’t feel this burning, incessant desire within themselves to take part in a behavior that is destroying their bodies, minds, spirits, relationships and lives. That is a telltale indicator of the insanity of addiction; why on Earth would someone continue to do something that is harmful to him or her each and every time they do it, to one degree or another?

You see, this mental and spiritual affliction may manifest itself in a variety of ways, but it boils down to a central issue; the problem of an addict is the addict him or herself. We are our own problem and our own worst enemy. We loathe ourselves and routinely sabotage our own happiness and well-being. It is in our nature long after the last drink, toke, fix or toot has faded into the sunset, and even exhibits itself in people who have the addict tendency and are fortunate enough not to be caught up in fully acting on it.

Addiction is a heartless, cunning and baffling adversary. It is a spiritual sickness and not simply a demonstration of weakness or a lack of restraint. It’s a well documented fact that addicts, once clean and living their programs of recovery are some of the hardest-working and most valued members of the workforce; our tendency to fixate and our natural stubbornness are re-channeled into something productive and worthwhile.

If you have never felt the compulsion of addiction, you cannot understand the desperation inherent in that feeling of being drawn like a moth to a flame towards the very thing that is ruining your life, your relationships and ultimately killing you. You know it is wrong, but you can’t stop.  You don’t want to, and couldn’t even if you did. You cannot control the monster. You know your limits and how badly it will hurt you, but you don’t care. You are driven onward like a lemming rushing off a cliff into the ocean of emptiness, guilt and shame but you cannot turn away. Something inside you just will not allow it. Eventually you come to understand that something outside you is the only thing that can treat this infection of your soul. You cannot defeat this affliction on your own. The hope inherent in the Twelve Step philosophy is that your conception of your Higher Power can and will if you are willing to give over control and care of your life.

Buddhists teach that understanding is the root of love, and that you cannot have love without a real understanding of the place from where a person is coming. I hope somehow I am helping increase your understanding and in turn the love of your fellow humans.  If I help even one person “get it,” I am accomplishing what I set out to do.