The Holi-daze

The Holiday season provides many of us with a yearly celebration of family, friends and beautiful memories. There is laughter, joy and love overflowing. We sing carols, eat hearty meals and hug our loved ones and we are left above all with a heart full of gratitude.

There are also many for whom the holidays offer no real or lasting happiness. For that segment of the populace, this is just a time of the year to get through as unscathed as possible. Haunting memories and bitter longing plague this scene. If I’m not careful I can take the seat reserved by my past on my behalf right on the front row of this show.

In spite of your own view of what the holidays mean or the lovely memories they represent, everyone doesn’t share your experience. Many people carry years of emotional and mental scarring from tumultuous holidays of their youth that have carried over to affect those of their adulthood. Others have had serious difficulties and loneliness (some of that is self-inflicted, of course) as an adult and the holidays only seem to serve as a reminder of the emptiness of years past.

For many, the holidays serve more as a stark reminder of those who have been lost than as a time to enjoy the fellowship and love of those who remain. The dismal quicksand of woeful recollection swallows whole any joy or gratitude that lives in the present and he or she often feels left with no comfort outside of chemical or behavioral distraction. The beauty and wonder of the here and now are mortgaged against the brokenness of yesterday and the present is often forfeit as a result.

Our disease has we addicts convinced that our sole comfort lies in the next drink, drug, box of cookies or stranger’s caress. Like any good spree of bad behavior we are left with more questions than answers: How did this happen again? Why did I yet again run away from both the good and the bad and leave such destruction in my wake? How can I repair all the collateral damage for this latest binge? What now, and what lies ahead?

The key here is to attempt to realign our focus. All the negative memories and feelings produce energy, and if this energy is not redirected than the consequences can be dire. We must figure out a way to get out of “self” and get in to service. This time of year more than any other offers a multitude of opportunities to go in either of those directions, and by our CHOICE we can either drown in our bitterness or help ourselves be set free from the bondage of negativity.

If you find yourself wallowing in the negativity of the past or present, get up and get going in the direction of another person you can help. You’ll find that much like a morning frost in Tennessee, your negativity will be gone before you know it. You just have to decide to get out of your own head and get into service of your fellows.

How can you be of service during the holiday season?