You are responsible

The fact of the matter is that all any person can truly control are their own thoughts, words and actions. You have no direct control (and much less influence than you probably think) over the thoughts, words or actions of any other person.  It is as simple as drawing a breath to become infuriated at a perceived slight or annoying behavior, but we must realize what we surrender each and every time we do: the only sliver of control we have.

We are the source of our own anger, frustration, depression and resentment. We make the choice to allow those feelings to dominate our minds and hearts; while they may be a reaction to something someone else does or says, we alone can dictate how we choose to proceed in light of the offense. If no one else can control what you think, say or do, how can anyone else be blamed for any of it?

Any good 2-year-old can tell you that we don’t like being told what to do or not do. At that young age we have already begun to assert that mental and emotional freedom to an extent. As easy and natural as it is to think, “Nobody can tell me what to do!” it is paradoxically difficult to take responsibility for each and every thought, word or deed.

Our inner infant takes over at the mere thought of owning our own emotions or actions: “No, he made me do it! He made me act this way because he treated me so badly!” or “I’ll teach them to yell at me. I’ll show them just how much I do by taking my foot off the gas this afternoon so they can see how much doesn’t get done.” In our minds it is almost never our own faults. Passing the buck is the new international human past time,

We make those poor choices after we have made the terribly poor choice to give over ownership of our own consciousness to someone who doesn’t even pay part of the rent. Their act alone is simply that: an act, good or bad, better or worse. Our anger, hurt or frustration is a creation entirely of our own making. At a glance this may not seem fair. You may be thinking, “That’s dumb, man. Are you telling me not to do anything when some guy flips me off on the highway? Are you telling me that he isn’t asking for it when I cut him off and slam on my brakes?”

Yes. Yes I am. I am telling you that you have to be an adult and take ownership and stewardship of the greatest gift and biggest responsibility bestowed by the Creator: our ability to choose and our ability to control and steward what we think, say or do. We must see past the hurt and blame to a more sublime and serene way of life. We must take ownership of and responsibility for ourselves and our thoughts, words and actions.

Welcome to the first step.