The problem is the problem

One thing I heard repeatedly from an early point in my stay in rehab was “Wherever you go, there you are.” It is yet another of the “Well, no crap” statements courtesy of twelve step programs, at least on the surface. I didn’t think much of it until I could grasp that my disease was a sickness of the mind and spirit and that the problem began and ended with me and hadn’t a thing to do with everyone else.

The saying is simple but effectively illustrates something many struggle to grasp: If you don’t change yourself and your way of thinking you will still be the same drunk or junkie halfway across the world that you are right here, right now. If you move to Japan to run away from your problem, it’ll be waiting to greet you as you exit the airplane and you’ll essentially become a drunken tourist on a destructive living spree. Everyone around you will become collateral damage until the tornado stops spinning.

You are an All-Star screw up playing an away game. The problem and the solution are both manifest in your mind and are not dependent upon your environment. You know how to make the worst of a great situation and consistently self-sabotage. It is very nearly engrained in your DNA.

We frequently default to treating symptoms or placing blame where it doesn’t belong. It is human nature to immediately point the finger everywhere else when things go wrong and all-too-often the real blame lies solely with us. Your geography won’t help heal your mind, heart or soul.  Deflecting blame or responsibility is something we’re all guilty of but we usually only point it out when someone else is doing it. Bear in mind that most times the things you hate about others are the very things you hate about yourself.

You have to recognize and admit your role in creating your own circumstances no matter where you are. Take ownership of your life and be responsible for what you do or fail to do. You cannot let circumstances dictate your outcomes, and quite often you have to practice the fine art of acceptance and be willing to play the hand you are dealt. Welcome to real life in the real world, a novel concept to a mentally teenaged substance abuser trapped in a fully grown-up body.

The problem is the problem, and that problem is you. The sooner you can recognize it and begin to work on it, the sooner you can be set free from its’ lock-tight grasp. By focusing on only an action at a time you can ship away at the walls. Break life down into manageable chunks, do the next right thing and surrender your reliance on your own diseased mind and you will be amazed at the results.