Choices

When we can begin to see that the happenings of this world are the result of the choices people make, we can also begin to understand that most of the things that happen in our life are the result of our own choices as well.  You cannot simply duck the responsibility that comes with making a choice by blaming your Higher Power or the fates, or even that all-encompassing concept of “life.” You can’t blame your misfortune on anyone or anything else when you can take a few steps back and realize that your circumstances are a direct result of your choices (and possibly your own poor judgment).

It is no one else’s fault that you chose to stay in an unhealthy or destructive relationship. You are responsible for staying too long at a soul-sucking job that takes more from you than the money you make can ever give back. You must own the fact that even in a drunken stupor you make decisions, good or bad.

Your choices almost always have an effect on others as well.  You must bear this in mind when you really care about the people with whom you have chosen to surround yourself. A few immediate examples come to my mind:

When I was 200I choose to ride down to Memphis with some fraternity brothers and was involved in a car wreck that forever changed the course and trajectory of my life.  Without fail in my active addiction I chose to drink when and where I wanted, and to use and abuse drugs as frequently as possible. Those selfish actions quite often had dire and heartbreaking effects on basically everyone around me.

My father chose to begin smoking again after quitting for ten or so years, and died of lung disease about two years later.  I have needed and wanted my father more hours in every day than I can ever express and he isn’t there. He was not on this Earth to see me clean up, never met my wife and will not be there for the birth of my children.

My sister made the conscious choice to not wear her seatbelt while driving into town from her house about 2 months ago, and as a result did not survive the car accident in which she was involved less than a mile from her house. I miss her in every moment of every day. She always had my back and was always there to provide tough and caring love when I needed it (whether or not I wanted it, but always to my benefit). I cannot begin to describe what effects her loss will have on her children, my mother or my brother-in-law.

No matter what, you have a choice to act every moment. You choose how to spend your day even when it seems that you have no choice at all. Some choices you make can have far-reaching enough effects that they dictate the framework for other choices for years or even your remaining lifetime. Your choices affect so many more people than you often want to admit to yourself. You must take responsibility for the choices you make. A life spent blaming everything bad that happens on everyone or thing around you is a wasted lifetime.

Stand up today and own your choices, good or bad. If you want to make a difference in your own life, start with that step and you will be amazed at what can follow. Life is all a series of choices. Care enough about yourself to choose wisely.