Rigorous Honesty

One vital part of recovering from any addiction (and any worthwhile life for that matter) is the necessary adoption of being rigorously honest. It is important to note that rigorous is not brutal. Deciding upon this as a personal ideal does not give anyone the license to be purposefully hurtful or overly confrontational. Life does not often present anyone with the circumstance wherein that is appropriate. You don’t get to act like a jerk and play the recovery card. Rigorous honesty simply describes being honest in all matters big or small, seen or unseen.

One pattern of behavior into which many addicts (and plenty of normal people) fall is that of telling “white” lies or making seemingly innocent exaggerations. While at a glance these behaviors may seem harmless, your subconscious is keeping a sort of tally and the guilt begins to form a spiritual obstacle directly between you and true happiness.

One cannot be simultaneously deceitful and happy. It is simply an empty existence. Happiness becomes fleeting and true friends become scarce. Lies lead to more lies and your entire existence becomes a hazy, shadowy scam. Alcohol, drugs or any other form of acting out become a coping mechanism that helps the addict feel good about themselves again, even if only temporarily.

Often the lies are a way of creating a persona for the addict about which they can feel good. They lack the normal self-worth of a typical person and feel the need to lie or exaggerate to turn himself or herself into someone worth knowing or even loving. The addict does not realize that who they are is good enough for others because that person isn’t even good enough for them.

Self-loathing is a battle addicts fight moment-to-moment, even long after the last drink or drug. Personally it is a war that rages daily inside my mind. It is only when I am reminded that who I am is really not that bad that I can function without an empty, angry self-hatred in my gut. It is a constant companion and something that I can become all too accustomed to feeling. 

Honesty really is the best policy, as cheesy and outdated as many may feel this saying is. Rigorous honesty makes life simpler and lessens a great deal of the guilt, shame and remorse. Why lie? Who you are is good enough for someone, somewhere once who you are becomes good enough for you. You must love yourself before you can successfully love anyone else, and you have to start with honesty.

Make yourself someone worth loving in your own eyes without chemical assistance. It won’t happen overnight but it will be one of the most worthwhile things you ever do.