Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt...

Denial is one of the most difficult recovery deterrents to overcome. No one wants to believe that they have a problem, even after all the regrettable, forgettable nights (that they can’t remember anyway). Overcoming it means being forced to admit that there is something that has defeated the addict, something they cannot control with all their power, intellect and stubbornness.

Most addicts and people in general evaluate their lives, their problems and successes against the people around them, and by so doing set themselves up for failure. There’s always someone better or worse off, and this can become a way an addict can justify his or her using behaviors. The problem inherent with this is that it masks your need to be accountable to and for yourself. If you always live your life in comparison to those around you you’ll be continuously disappointed and, frankly, disappointing as well. You can’t live up to your true potential as a person when you never measure yourself against your own possibilities.

When in the company of an active and unacknowledged addict, you may hear some things that are quite often denial indicators:

“You can’t be addicted to ___, so I’m not an addict.”

The fact of the matter is that you can be addicted to anything that you do that is an escape or a coping mechanism. It may not be a chemical dependence, but addiction is psychological at its’ root anyway. If you have to catch a buzz to be happy, it may be time to look at your life realistically.

“I’m not as bad as ____. He’s a real addict.”

This is a prime example of living life comparatively and giving yourself a pass for bad behaviors. Are you worse off than you should be, irrespective of anyone else around you? It may be time to evaluate your life and compare it to the life you want.

“But I only drink/use on the weekends.”

For the record, there’s no such thing as casual or recreational consumption of cocaine, but I used to throw this one around a lot. What I failed to mention was the fact that I got blackout, stumbling stupid drunk on the weekends. I often used coke to “sober up.” Quite the strategist, huh? It isn’t the frequency that counts the most; it is the motivation and the amount when it does happen.

Now, not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic, much the same way that not everyone who plays golf is a “golfer” or who runs is actually a marathoner. Whether or not a person has a problem is something that only they can truly determine for themselves. Thus, the motivation to change has to come from within as well.