Relapse?

They say that relapse doesn’t have to be a part of recovery. You know what? They’re right. Some people give themselves the pass of adding a “layer” of legitimacy to their recovery story, but this is a prime example of justification. It is not a requirement and a great many “old timers” have never again picked up once setting their minds on sobriety.

Many things can contribute to a relapse, but one thing is for certain: to quote my Uncle John, “There’s no such thing as a slip.” It is all premeditated to one degree or another. Relapse finds its roots much earlier in time than the critical moment of the first drink, drug or act-out. There are a few specific behaviors that almost certainly spell trouble for anyone in recovery.

First, there is a false sense of confidence in his or her ability to stay clean and sober by simply not drinking or picking up. While it is obvious that this is the beginning, it is assuredly not the end of the action items that must be undertaken. You cannot kill a weed without digging up its roots, and you cannot combat addiction without addressing what is behind the compulsion.

Withdrawing from contact with friends, loved ones and especially a sobriety support system such as a 12-step meeting or other form of fellowship is also a huge red flag. It’s a potentially deadly step into isolation. Isolationism is a key character trait amongst we addicted. No matter the circumstance, alarms should ring in the heavens when we begin to withdraw from other people. Something is wrong that, if not addressed could become toxic enough for us to give ourselves an excuse to drink, use or act out, and our next binge always has the potential of being our last (which isn’t necessarily a good thing).

The main reason for the failure of an attempt at sobriety seems to me to be not going after this lifestyle with the right motivation behind your decision. If this is done for anyone or anything other than purely ourselves and our own health and happiness, we are setting ourselves up to fail. External motives, such as pleasing a loved one, court-mandated recovery or social pressures (think an intervention) won’t serve to keep us sober because we are then mainly doing it for “you,” and you will eventually let us down or upset us enough that you become an excuse to pick up again.

Keeping things simple and applying methods that have proven to be successful seem to be keys to relapse prevention. Finding a support group consisting of other addicts, alcoholics, etc., plus figuring out a different way of life utilizing some greater purpose as a guidepost, and understanding and accepting that you cannot do it alone seem to be some of the key themes. No one, myself included can give you a foolproof, ironclad formula that is guaranteed to keep you sane and sober, but I do know what has worked for me. These things may just work for you as well.