One of the hallmark traits of the addict alcoholic is self-centeredness, although perhaps it's also a hallmark of being a human being in 2017. We have a startling capacity to place ourselves at the center of everything, including but not limited to the universe.
You've had a bad day? Sorry about that. Let me tell you about MINE.
Traffic jam because someone got in a wreck? That bastard must've known I was running late and decided to screw with my life.
Favorite team lost? I shouldn't have worn that hat yesterday!!
Child labor crisis overseas? Those tyrants must know I love kids!
Bad weather? God must be getting back at me for not taking advantage of the sunshine yesterday.
It's all about me - every wrinkle in the fabric of any story is a reaction to something I did or failed to do. It's all a wave created by a ripple that only started with the splash I made in the pond.
This type of thinking is central to many (if not most) of our unhealthy behaviors and justifications in both our active addiction and our recovery. One of the most readily available treatments for this diseased thinking is service- to "get outside of ourselves" by serving others in some way. Service involves sacrifice of some kind, which isn't genuinely doable if we are fixated on ourselves, out problems and our self-pity.
Service is seldom, if ever, convenient. It wouldn't be wrong to say that by its very nature it is inconvenient. Healthy recovery demands of us that we be willing to inconvenience ourselves for the sake of being of service to others. It may not be expressly stated anywhere, but it is certainly implied and there are mounds of empirical evidence that it is a most effective way to align your perspective.
A life spent focused on yourself and your own desires is pretty common - that's the way of the world today.
A life dedicated to the service of others is both rare and remarkable. No one is arguing that in any case a person would need to go that far to be effective. Being mindful of opportunities to be of service and then acting appropriately when they arise is a reasonable prescription for the sickness of selfishness and self-centeredness, however. It's nearly (but not entirely) impossible to feel sorry for yourself while you're truly being of service to others.
Alcoholic addicts need to take the real medicine of service for our disease. It goes hand-in-hand with talking with other alcoholics and/or addicts, doing a regular inventory of ourselves and humbly accepting that we don't have all the answers and shouldn't attempt to control things we cannot possibly control.
Take your medicine, whether it's currently the cure or the preventative measure. It may just save your life today.
